he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
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