garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
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