he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
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I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
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