yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
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