You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Randomize
