I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
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