Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
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