i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
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