The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
Randomize
