that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
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