I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
Randomize
