Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
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