I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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