I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
Randomize
