They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
