i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
It's rum buckets o'clock
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
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