yo i stole a wine glass from the ritz but i spilled wine on my hundo dolla shirt
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
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