i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
