College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
Randomize
