Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
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