it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
Randomize
