I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
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