dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
Randomize
