the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
Randomize
