please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
