They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
I swear to god I'm going to hunt down and stab the next telemarketer that calls from a blocked number while I'm waiting for my STD results...
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
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