Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
well you can't waste a boner
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
