out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
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