Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
Randomize
