Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
you stole their roomba and ran out the door so that you could 'set it free'.
we found you passed out on lawn and the roomba bouncing back and forth on the sidewalk.
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
Randomize
