win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
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