At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
I said "one day" and that day is not today
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
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