sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
Sometimes, when I pour the powdered creamer in my coffee I like to pretend it's Colombian grade cocaine.
That's the kind of morning coffee a girl could welcome the day with.
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
You need a sexual gate keeper
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
Randomize
