How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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