You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
Randomize
