He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
Randomize