TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
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