he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
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