Just woke up wearing a top hat and simpsons boxers. i also found more money in my wallet then what i had before going out, about $1000 more
I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
Do you have feelings for this penis?
Randomize
