it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
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