Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
Randomize
