Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
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