yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
Randomize
