You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
Randomize
