R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
Randomize
