i don't like sucking hair
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
We need to feng shui this bitch.
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
Randomize
