OMG I just tried to text you something dirty but accidentally texted the obama campaign
Im bringing wine tonight. Its from a merlot from nashville. i bet it'll taste like infidelity and teenage pregnancy.
It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
Randomize
