Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
Help me help you realize you are a moron
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
Randomize
