Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
Randomize
