: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
Randomize
