sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
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