So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
The upside of Thirsty Thursdaying with the client last night was that he was so hungover that he didn't want to spend time wrangling over the contract extension this morning.
Boss just said I'm getting a bonus for this. Want to celebrate our anniversary a week early tonight?
This is why I married you.
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Randomize
