no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
you never un-have a 4some
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
Randomize
