OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
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