We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
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I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
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Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
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