Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
I'm drive I can fine osifer
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
The adults are the big ones right?
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
Randomize
