I'm laying in your front yard are you home
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
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