Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
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