i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
you texted me last night and told me you couldn't find the toilet.
That explains the puddle of pee in my closet.
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
Randomize
