dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
so much tequila, so little girl.
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
Randomize
